I WANT TO DIE LIKE A TREE

(from Gifts From an Oak Tree)

When a tree dies, whether it be a towering white pine struck by lightning, a young sumac
debarked by the rubbing of a whitetail buck's antlers, or an aspen in its prime flooded out by a
beaver dam, it doesn't always disappear right away.

But a dead tree still serves a purpose.  It can be home to insects and small animals, a perch
during daylight for hungry bald eagles, or a roost in the moonlight for a watchful owl.  A dead
tree can still be a thing of beauty in the midst of a sunset as it reaches up high into the sky
exposing its twisted and gnarled branches.

I want to die like a tree dies.  I want to linger on a while and let the memory of me, my
thoughts, and smiles hang on with family and friends, and guide them on their way into the
future without me.

I want to be useful even after I am gone.  And when the day comes that a strong wind blows
the memory of me away, toppling me to the ground like the tree… I want to slowly return to the
earth and have another tree grow up in my place.    

A PLAN

I need a plan to escape from the madness,

A way to make the bad stuff disappear.

I’d like to erase my anxiety, my downfall, my fear.

Maybe tomorrow it will all leave me.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll find the key

To open the door of a world full of life

Like the one I had before.

Then I can hope, I can dream, I can wish 

I can fool myself into thinking it’s gone

And live life like everyone else… tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow.

If there’s a tomorrow.