WHY DO WE CREATE

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Why Do Some People Have a Strong Desire to Create?

I am doodler, painter, sketcher, writer, and a stitcher.  I have since childhood had a strong desire in various ways, to create.  I am not a perfectionist by any means.  I tend to view my works of art as that of folk art in a more primitive fashion.   My urge is not constant, it comes and goes, but when I am working on a project I feel fulfillment, purpose, contentment, and I am at peace with myself. 

Many people do not have this desire.  They don’t ever think about creating a work of art, don’t have any ambitions of that sort.  Why do I, why do others?  Does it show something of our character, our genetics, our family background?  I think it could involve all of those factors.

Personally I have come to a point in my life, where I’m facing some serious health issues that have awakened me with a realization of why I am the way I am.  It is all very clear to me now.  It came to me in my sleep last night, although it has been in the back of my mind for years.

As a teenager I had a huge void in my life, missing my mother, whom I lost to cancer when I was 13.  She was my best friend, my rock, and the thought of losing her was not in my head, seemed impossible to think of it…. no one told me how serious it was.  My mother fought a valiant battle for 2 years, I was by her side through it all, and her illness and death changed my life forever.

In grade school and I believe later in early high school I was introduced to genealogy in English classes.  I loved it all; the research, finding out my roots, where my family came from, when they came to America, what they were like as a people.  I have continued this interest and have come to the conclusion of why I like it so much.  This is a way I can reach backward in time and try to connect to my mother, my roots, my young life that was once all sort of o.k.  It is my way of communicating with those before me, in some small way.  It is a form of comfort from the losses I have suffered, a connection to what once was.

In the same manner, I have realized that my need to create is a way for myself to leave a part of my world behind to others when I am gone.  When I go there will be something left of me… however small or insignificant…  there will be something there; my paintings, shelf fungus art, stitchery, quilts, little pieces of me left behind as small remembrances…

My creations I feel are directly prompted by the loss of my mother, always longing and wishing there were more small remembrances of her around me…  and although I know they will never bring her back… those few small remembrances are all, all in the world, that are left of her.  And so, I feel I have been driven to leave a little more behind in my life, than she had a chance to, because I almost think I’ve known this word… cancer… would come to meet me as well.  And now here it is!   I know now why I am the way I am, and it kind of gives me some peace… like I’ve figured out why I tick the way I do. 

I look around at my family, to see if some may be like me, with the need to create as well.  I’ve seen it come and go in others… a young person with ambitions to draw or paint, but when they grow up and life gets in the way, the desire goes by the wayside.  I think this is very normal and the way most people are. 

I feel a bond with my Uncle Axel, and his need to create, and how it has never left him all his long life.  It is much stronger for he, than for me.   I look back and think of his young life, it’s parallel to mine, but yet much more tragic in the loss of his mother when Axel was only 7.   From what I understand her illness was short.  There was no time to prepare and how could a young child prepare for such a thing anyway.  I think maybe for Uncle, he is like me, looking for a way to reach back to what once was, looking for a way to leave a part of himself behind… missing his mother always… looking for comfort… looking for approval… a way to connect to the past and leave a part of himself for others in the future. 

My need to create is in essence how I cope with life, the world, and deal with my losses.  But I think a good part of it stems from the loss of my mother.  She gave this gift to me!

Kay – 11/23/2012

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ONLY ROCK LOVERS WOULD UNDERSTAND

I picked you up because you were pretty

You had stripes, or swirls, or twinkled in the sunlight.

Or maybe the color you sported was special

Like red or gold in a unique shade or highlight.

You were here before me and all other people

Through the ages, the storms, the floods, and the cold,

Through all seasons, the summers, the winters,

Before anyone walked on this ground you were old.

I can move you, and hold you, and wonder how

You were formed, shaped, and molded into what I see.

And ponder how you came to lie here where I found you

For this you’ll always remain a mystery to me.

Because of the fascination of your formation

And knowing you’ll be here long after I’m gone,

I hold you in awe and appreciate your beauty,

Doesn’t matter the fact, that you’re just a small stone.

 

WILDFLOWERS AT HOME ( part 11 )

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ASIATIC DAYFLOWER

Flowers appear in August on this dayflower.  I found this group of plants along the edge of the garden on the west side.  The plant has threASIATIC DAYFLOWER

e long stemmed leaves.  It may have been introduced in the garden area from plants Tom brought from his home at Eau Claire years ago.  

I have always enjoyed the bright blue color of these flowers even though they can be invasive.

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SWEET EVERLASTING

This photo was taken in mid-August.  Later in the fall the buds open and seeds fuzz out of the centers of these tiny flowers.  They keep well when dried and have a delicious butterscotch smell to them.  I brought the seeds home after picking the flowers in the fall, south of City Point, and spread them around the dike.  They are now growing on the inner dike.   I believe the deer ate them off on the outer dike as they seem to be thriving only in the fenced off area.   

It is the butterscotch aroma that makes me love this little flower.

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FALL ASTER

These flowers are light lavender in color and appear in mid to late August and last until a frost.  They are found at the edges of the yard in sunny and shady places.  This photo was taken under the overhang of the old cabin.   There are several kinds of asters and this one has rounder leaves and larger flowers than the others on our property.  The aster is a sign that summer is nearly over.

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TOUCH-ME-NOT or JEWEL WEED

The touch-me-not plant grows 3 to 4 feet tall and sports small orange/yellow hanging flowers in mid to late August.  These plants have little seed pods which, when touched, spring open shooting out seeds.  This plant has some damaged leaves, not sure what from; it was not a good year for this plant for some reason.

The leaves of the touch-me-not can be rubbed together and spread on the skin on poison ivy rashes and will bring some relief.  Deer love to eat them and although this plant was found along the driveway near the garage, the numbers of these plants at home seem to be dwindling.  

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LITTLE ASTERS

Another variety of asters, these grow along the driveway and have white petals and purple centers.  They are quite tiny and have narrow leaves, growing low to the ground in the fall.

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CLUSTERED ASTERS

Found in large clusters these white asters are the tallest of all that grow here at home.  They can be 3 to 4 feet in height sporting large groups of small white flowers with yellow centers.  They grow along the driveway and pond where they can take in a good deal of daily sunlight.  Like the other asters, they appear in mid to late August and September and are a sign of summer’s end.  

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RATTLESNAKE-ROOT or WHITE LETTUCE

This plant was found in a shady spot next to the grader blades over the basement drain.  The drain has not been running for several weeks due to the dry summer we are having.  

The blossoms on this plant hang down and have a purple hue, while the flower itself is mainly white.  The flowers also hang upside down.  This photo was taken in early September.  

I was excited to spot this rattlesnake-root; I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before.  The metal underneath the hanging flowers is the little grader blade bridge.

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MINI PURPLE ASTERS

I photographed these little light purple asters along the driveway.  They are very similar to the larger variety, but have long narrow leaves rather than rounder large, leaves.  They like full sun and grow along the driveway and pond in late August and September.

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SWAMP SMARTWEED

I found a cluster of these flowers growing in the bed of Tom’s Creek, unexpectedly, in early September.  They were next to a small beaver dam and the creek was not flowing because of the drought we were having.  

These plants were 1 to 3 feet tall and the pink flowers appeared very striking in the sunlight.  The plants were emerging from a stagnant water hole.

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Photographing all the wild flowers I encountered on our property from spring until the end of the growing season in the fall of 2013 was great therapy.  Whenever I encountered a new flower on my walks I dashed back in the house to get the camera so I could document it.

I hope these photos inspire you and your children to look for wild flowers too, I’d like you to appreciate them, smell them, and pick them.  I’m sure as time passes you will find new flowers to add to the list and some shown here will fade away in time.  

It would be interesting to go back one hundred years or more to see what kind of wild flowers were growing here then.  There may have been fewer flowers before the white man settled here in Sherwood.  One reason I feel that way is because the tall whites and other trees such as oaks may have shaded more area creating a canopy that wouldn’t have allowed some flowers to grow.   If deer were fewer and trees were taller, I’d like the think the forests would have been filled with trilliums in springtime.

100 years from now I hope wild flowers still flourish and continue to spread their magic throughout our forest and field.

I searched the woods and open spaces,

For wild flowers from spring til fall.

And as I watched the seasons change,

I truly marveled at them all.

  Kay      ~ 12-16-2013 ~

WILDFLOWERS AT HOME ( part 10 )

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PINEAPPLE WEED

If you don’t bend over and look hard you will miss these little gems.  They appear in July and can be found often in the middle of the driveway, popping up out of the gravelly areas less travelled on.  The flower tops turn yellow and the plants themselves are only about 2 inches tall or less.  This little flower has a very sweet pineappley smell, one that you won’t forget once you take a good whiff of them.  I fondly remember smelling them as a child and still look forward to their arrival each summer.  

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LOCOWEED

This is a cute little flower in the yard that lasts all summer.  It has deep purple buds and lavender flowers that come and go.  If the grass is mowed short in the yard you may not see them.  They seem to like full sun and spread well.

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PURPLE MILKWEED

These maroon/purple flowers are somewhat like Joe Pye Weed but appear a few weeks earlier than Joe in July.  They are few in numbers but can be found on the inner dike and in a few marshy areas.  Butterflies love them and they grow 4 feet tall or more, similar in height to Joe Pye Weed.

I find them quite beautiful, with their pinkish to rosy hue.

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GARDEN LOOSESTRIFE

This type of loosestrife is invasive, but striking, with its tall clusters of golden yellow flowers.  It can be found in July along the inner dike of the pond on the east side before the fenced off area begins.

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BLUE VERVAIN or SWAMP VERBENA

One of my favorites, this type of vervain begins to bloom in late July and lasts into August.  Its numerous spikes are adorned with tiny purple flowers.  It grows in full sun on the inner dike and reaches up 3 to 4 feet tall.  Its flowers have a rather delicate appearance.

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FIELD MILKWORT

There’s a spoiler in the background of this photograph!  I found this little purple flower near the basement drain by the pond.  It likes part sun/part shade and blooms about the end of July and into August.  It is about 6 inches tall and grows in small groups.  

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FROST WEED/ HEATH ASTER

Late July to early August find these miniature daisies in full bloom.  They like full sun and can be found all around the dike and along the driveway.  They branch out and grow to about 3 feet tall.  They are a sign of the dog days of summer.  

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JOE PYE WEED

In late July to early August you can find Joe Pye Weed in large gatherings along Tom’s Creek.  Its purple blossoms have a strong cinnamon like odor when fully open.    It is a wonderful smell and makes a great vase flower.

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TANSY

This very tall plant produces flowers in August.  It grows  4 to 5 feet tall and can be found south of the garden near the lumber piles.  I have not noticed it anywhere else on the property but have seen it in the road ditch a half mile east of our driveway.  Tansy has a long history of use for medicinal purposes.

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AMERICAN HOG PEANUT

These little vines have a pink/purple flower appearing on them in August, somewhat like the blossom on a pea or bean plant.  The plant is low to the ground and grows in shaded woods on the east edge of the yard.  The vines wrap themselves around nearby grasses when growing next to them.  

The blossoms are a bit pinker than the photograph portrays them.

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CONTENTMENT

In a woods… shady, mossy, and green

With soft, scented pine needles under my feet

A deer twists his neck to look at me,

While squirrels chaise each other up a tree.

And cool breezes drift through the pines.

Summer is my favorite time to ponder

And walk among the ferns over yonder

But the maple trees know it won’t be long

‘Til their leaves are red, then brown, then gone.

Across the creek where the big pines whisper.

The rattlesnake plantain shows itself here and there

While the mushrooms litter the pine needled floor

Of the woods I love not far from home

Where the red ferns dance in the morning sun.

And the deer’s white tail waves goodbye to me.

As I walk along in this shady woods

With the pileated woodpeckers gliding ‘tween the trees,

Where the Indians camped so long ago

In summertime warmth and wintertime snow

I thank them for sharing this land with me.

For I’m just here passing my life and time

In a woods that I’ll never truly own

But without a doubt, in my heart I know

As I walk in these woods, where the wintergreen grow

I belong… here.